A practical guide revealing how you can fail in business, by Jeremy Richard Sadler

You know, it has come to my attention that, no matter how hard they try; many people just do not succeed in business. They flit from one business opportunity to the next, notching up one failure after another and invest vast amounts of time, money and effort in doing so. Now if that scenario fits to your current way of life, have you ever wondered why that is? Why are you such a failure in business? You read all the books, listen to the audios, watch the DVDs, take part in workshops, and attend the seminars and still – no success! Isn’t that frustrating? Of course it is! Well, you’ll be happy to know that I can tell you why you are such a failure in business. You may not be happy with what I’m about to reveal to you, but don’t they say “The Truth Hurts”?

The main reason why you are failing in business is – YOU! You are bringing it on yourself – either by your actions, your attitudes or a mixture of both. Now, if you can’t accept that (accept responsibility for your own actions), then go ahead – continue as you are, continue failing! In fact I’ll even help you fail even more!

Yes, you read that right. What I’m going to do is, show you a 5-step guide on how to ensure your business venture will fail. So, if you want to fail in your business, read on. If you want to read success tips, go read somebody else’s articles – and ignore them like you’ve probably done until now.

Ok, got your spade ready? Let’s dig your “Pity Hole” a little deeper – but take note, although I’m coming down to join you (albeit temporarily) in your “Pity Hole”, I’m wearing a safety rope! I don’t want to stay down there any longer than I have to – “Bad association spoils useful habits” (Apostle Paul to the Corinthians), if you get my drift.

So, are you ready for this? Ok, here is my:

“5-Step Guide To Ensure Business Failure.”

1. PROCRASTINATE YOUR BUSINESS TO DEATH.

Procrastination – probably the #2 Business Killer of all time. Do you know what procrastination is? Well, it basically comes in two forms.

Firstly, you have a task to do, which you know you should do, but you keep putting it off until tomorrow. What happens? Tomorrow never comes and the task never gets done.

Secondly, same as above, but with a deadline. You keep putting it off until the last minute, and then you rip your head off and do a superb impression of a headless chicken, rushing around trying to cram 6 weeks work into 6 hours. If you hit the deadline, you’re encouraged to procrastinate further until your adept at it.

Just think of the benefits of procrastination! If you fit into the first definition, then you’ll build up a fine reputation of being totally unreliable. You’ll be known as a “Promise Breaker” – or even better, a “Contract Breaker”! Contracts will dwindle until non-existence, orders will fade into your competitor’s books and customers will stop coming by – even for the free coffee. Incredibly your helpful friends at the bank will be even more helpful, because they’ll ensure your business is taken away from you – along with your home, car and family – relieving you of that dreadful burden. Wow! Now that is worth looking forward to, isn’t it?

What about definition #2? Is that more like you? Well, if you fit into that scenario, then you’re going to have lots of fun!

Your heart, nervous system and brain will get all stressed out, your stomach will likely sprout ulcers, you’ll be snapping at anyone or anything that comes in to biting range and, after it all, you’ll be so exhausted you could sleep for a year! Keep that up for a while and you can enjoy all the benefits of “Burn Out” and shave a few years off your life in to the bargain. Cool! 

Isn’t procrastination a beautiful business killer? So efficient, with so little effort, and lots of side effects too – and let’s not forget the exciting trips you get to go on, such as to Debt Mountain, Alcohol Oblivia or Homeless Escapade.

So if you want to choose procrastination as your failure tool, go ahead – you’ll succeed every time.

“If you don’t do today what you should do, then someone else will tomorrow.” -- Jeremy Richard Sadler

However, if you are undecided and feel that procrastination is not for you, then how about this next step?

2. BECOME SELF-FOCUSED.

Every business is customer oriented, right? And what are customers there for? Easy one to answer – to buy your products or services and make you heaps of money! It’s all about you and your needs. Customers’ are only a by-product of your business, right? That goes for your staff, employees, distributors etc as well. There’s no need to be overly concerned about their wants or needs, is there? You pay them enough (just) to get by – so what’s the hassle? Hey, they all signed a contract on which states that they’re there to make you money – way to go! They should be grateful for the job, keeps them off the streets after all. No concern of yours if they can’t manage their finances and are on first name terms with the bailiffs. So long as they work and the customers keep buying – you get your money for the stuff YOU want.

Having a total disregard for anyone, except yourself, means you get to be a cut-throat specialist with your competition too, helping them taste failure – whether they want to or not – and you get a notorious reputation to boot.

The benefits of being Self Focused are fairly obvious. For a while you’ll have to endure a measure of success as that money rolls in, but fortunately it’s only a temporary thing. In time people will stop doing business with you (Phew!) as they’ll want to go to more “peopley-carey” types (Ugh!) and you’ll be left alone – having coffee meetings with the receivers and bank reps (not the managers – they’re only interested in successful people. Yeuk!) and the auctioneers who come to sell off all your stock, equipment and assets at a fraction of it’s original worth. And, the best thing about that is, you don’t even have to keep the money the auction brings in – they give it away for you to all those nervy types, the ones who were sending you those nasty “Pay up or else” letters and Emails – not to mention the intrusive phone calls just as you were about to leave for lunch!

Now, this method may take a little longer than procrastinating, but it certainly is effective when you’re aiming at failure! For this method to work, all you have to do is neglect your people skills, delete self development and chuck management/leadership skills out the window – or better yet, don’t learn them in the first place! And you get to be as nasty as you want! How cool is that?

However, let’s say you ARE a people person and you still want to fail, what can you do? Don’t people persons always do well in business? Not always. For example, not if they have a major dislike of money.

“Help enough people to get what they want and you’ll get everything you want.” -- Zig Ziglar

3. BE A MONEY HATING PROFIT EATER.

If you are this type of person, then you’ll know immediately what I mean. You can’t carry money in your pockets, because it keeps burning holes in them – and you have the burn marks to prove it!

To be a Money Hating Profit Eater you have to be a multitasker. You need to do everything by yourself, plus be a bit of a procrastinator and add a touch of Self Focused.

You care about your customers, staff, employees or distributors and are very generous with your offers, bonuses, incentives, overtime pay etc. Working conditions in your company are the best they could be. You have flexi hours – your people can work when they want to (or not as the case may be) and do as much, or as little, as they want and still earn well. In fact, your business is more like a social club than a viable company. You even have a crèche for the snotty nosed ones!

So, enough of the negative, let’s now look on the bright side. Money is something you hate. In fact you loathe it with a passion. You must do, because as soon as it comes in, you can’t wait to get rid of it! Some of your creditors aren’t keen on that, as they tend not to receive complete payments from you – if at all – and it’s always way overdue. You’re an expert at robbing Peter to pay Paul – a bill-juggling master! Keeping accurate records of your transactions, expenses etc are something that doesn’t really appeal to you. Mainly because you let things pile up and the ever-increasing pile puts you off. The idea of employing a bookkeeper or going to an accountant is an alien thought or a very last second idea – normally the day after you receive a final reminder from the tax office. You feel you can handle it all yourself, when you have a minute to spare you’ll tackle it, but then you look at the pile of paperwork and decide to go shopping instead!

Profits? What are profits for, if not for spending! On yourself, mostly, but also a lot of it is wasted within your business – you can claim that back later! Then, after a while, things go belly up – what a relief!

By that time you won’t have to worry about getting any more loans from the banks or even credit sharks – your negative credit rating will see to that for you. All your staff, employees, distributors etc will be gone – you won’t be able to pay them anyway. Your customers will go elsewhere – as you’ll have nothing to offer them – therefore no more profits. In fact, the only increase will be in the amount of red ink used by the auditors when they come to tally things up – or down, in this case. The taxman will be adding up too – the number of years you’ll get sentenced for not paying your taxes. Hey, now comes the fun bit – you may get the use of an exclusive apartment block, totally free of charge, for a few years. All meals and clothing requirements will be taken care of as well and you get to share a 3m x 4m secluded room with a 2.5m grizzly that just loves the way you walk!

Again, this method can take a while, maybe a couple of years if you’re unlucky – but still a very effective way of ensuring your business fails – in style!

“To become financially independent you must turn part of your income into capital; turn capital into enterprise; turn enterprise into profit; turn profit into investment; and turn investment into financial independence.” -- Jim Rohn

Maybe, though, you don’t want to fail so dramatically, you prefer a more gradual method, one that leaves a bitter taste in your mouth, one that you can use to blame everyone and everything – but never yourself.

In that case, the fourth step in the Guide To Ensure Business Failure will be right up your street.

4. BECOME A WHINO.

Let’s say you’re an independent distributor with a company that has a proven track record of success, spread over more than 50 years, and who has an up-to-date workable, easy to use system, which is creating a fair amount of wealth within the distributorships. That’s no good, is it? There’s bound to be something to moan, groan or whine about. And you’re the one who’ll find it, because it’s what you’re good at! It doesn’t matter what it is, whether it’s to do with the products or customers or other distributors or the corporate management or the delivery schedules for the Outer Hebrides or whatever – if it’s there you’ll find it (and even if it’s not, you’ll use your imagination) and shout about it from the treetops. Makes you feel great, doesn’t it? Won’t make you popular, but what do you care? You’re not in business to be popular. You’re in business to fail; and this is a great way to achieve your goal.

Anyone you recruit won’t last long, maybe a month at most, because you keep rubbishing their efforts – should be perfect and know everything before they sign up, instead of expecting you to teach them, and anyway the system you’ve been forced to use is rubbish – I mean just look at your retention rate, it’s abysmal! 

Customers stop buying off you, because you’re always whining about the products or late deliveries or it’s the customers’ fault not being in when you called round on a holiday weekend or the weather is blah blah blah. Ha! Soon scares the pesky customers away, don’t it?

And what about that system the company has in place? Or your Upline? It can’t be that good, because you don’t get anything from it – must be a bit of favouritism going on there. Best to re-invent it. Obviously it won’t work, but you don’t want success anyway, so you make it as complicated and un-duplicatable as you can – then you’ll have something else to whine about – great!

After that you’ll be free to quit and tell everyone you meet how rubbish that company was, how their pay plan doesn’t work – because you tried everything possible after all. What a waste of time and effort, eh? Well, not entirely true, because you still achieved your aim in failing in yet another business opportunity, giving more to whine binge on.

So, drunk on your whine, you stagger from one business opportunity to the next, repeating the process until, in a complete stupor, you finally give up the idea of being your own boss and go work for one instead.

This method is very effective in any form of business venture; I just used Network Marketing as an example here. It is a fantastic way of not only ensuring your failure in business and also cures you of the idea of going into business for yourself ever again! How powerful is that?

Hey, and it’s never your fault, is it? You were only making others aware of their weaknesses, weren’t you, so how dare they whine about you!

“Do unto others what you would have them do unto you.” -- Jesus, Sermon on the Mount.

Now, all the Steps I’ve covered so far are what I would consider to be natural. Natural in the sense of you don’t learn how to be a Procrastinator or Self Focused or a Money Hating Profit Eater or even a Whino – these are all developed over time, based on your environment, your personality, your character etc.

“Nobody is greater than anyone else, we’re all equally imperfect – some more equally imperfect than others.” -- Jeremy Richard Sadler

However, the final Step in the Guide to ensure your business fails, is something that requires very deliberate action. It’s not something that develops as such, but something that – in a lot of cases  - is taught. If you dare to consider using this final step then you’ll have to be hard-core, committed to failure – not only in business, but also in life.

5. BE A SHADOW DANCER.

Being a Shadow Dancer means you are more often flirting with the shadowy side of things than in the light, bright world. Laws? Rules? Regulations? Pah! All made to be bent or broken, preferably both. This is about honesty and integrity in business, or rather the lack of it. Dishonesty and lack of integrity is the #1 killer of any business venture. If you are reading this in the comfort of a prison cell, having been put there due to being dishonest in business – CONGRATULATIONS! You have achieved the highest prize this method of ensuring business failure can award you – well, actually, almost. In some countries you’d be shot for what you did.

To make this method work successfully, you have to deliberately choose, train and practice at being unethical, dishonest, unscrupulous, disloyal and have a complete lack of integrity. This means being a low-down, dirty crook. You cheat customers, cheat your workers, your team, and your family. You defraud your own company, employ illegal systems for personal gain, steal, lie, destroy your competitors, con your granny out of her life savings, rob your child’s piggy bank, bribe authority figures, deliberately not disclose your full earnings to the taxman and make bogus claims at the same time. That’s just a few of the delightfully nasty and illegal things you could do – the longer the list the better!

There’s the thrill of staying one jump ahead of all the people you cheat or cut up, but that’s part of the game plan too. Unlike the other 4 Steps, you chose this one to stay in business as long as possible – before being forced to quit by the Law or other authoritive bodies (gangs, mafia etc).

Wow! The rush of adrenaline when the cops finally do come to pick you up! The looks on the faces of the people you’ve betrayed – some sad, others hate filled – wasn’t it worth it? Better the cops coming to get you than the local Big Boss, though,  – at least after prison you can do it all over again!

"Integrity is the foundation upon which all other values are built.” -- Brian Tracey

So, there you have. My 5-Step Guide to Ensure Business Failure. All 5 can be used separately or intertwined with each other. All 5 are guaranteed to help you achieve your business failure goal, at whatever level you choose.

Now obviously the aim of this article was NOT to encourage business failure, but quite the opposite. The whole point being you can choose to fail or succeed in whatever you do, you decide.

If you live in United Kingdom, Republic of Ireland, The Netherlands or Germany and want guaranteed SUCCESS in a business opportunity, then I may have something of interest for you.

If you want to FAIL – read this article again!

You can contact me by either:

Email: themavennetwork@googlemail.com

Tel: +44 (0)2476 288965

"You can choose to fail or succeed in whatever you do, you decide.” -- Jeremy Richard Sadler